idk

 i feel empty. entahlah. tgh duduk tiba tiba rasa mcm kosong. 

i lose trust and hope easily. anyone, no matter who, will leave us eventually tak kiralah apa janji yang di buat sekalipun. idk. salah aku sebab terlalu sayangkan manusia sampai terlalu yakin akan bahagia sampai bila-bila. aku jadi susah sgt nk percaya yang org akan stay dengan kita sampai bila-bila. idk. bila-bila masa org boleh dtg and bila-bila masa org boleh pergi. im not a toy.. idk whether past experience teach me to be a better person or worse. 

cepat atau lambat org akan tetap tinggalkan kita. tak semua org boleh terima kita seadanya. i learnt that lesson in a really hard way :'( something that i would never imagine. never. but it happens. ya Allah. i hate this stupid feeling. i deserve to be happy and i want to be happy. not to be sad while pretending to be happy. 

the fact that someone really wanna leave you intentionally is really hurt and come back after realising they have made a bad choice is even more hurtful. i dont hate, not a bit. but i am too disappointed :'( i cant erase that feeling. im am so broken and shattered. i collect every piece of me and put it back together by myself, but then it shatters again and again. 

ya Allah.. tolong lah bagi aku semangat supaya aku dapat hidup dalam keadaan yang tenang.

i am just too disappointed. really i am.😢

dont make mistake by loving someone too deeply. it hurts so much :'( too much. it's unbearably. 

betul lah, jangan terlalu cintakan manusia lebih daripada cinta terhadap Allah :"( banyaknya dosa aku.. mungkin ni lah balasan yang Allah bagi atas semua dosa aku 😢